When Ruby\u2019s daughter, Cindy, claims that her grandmother always has a \u2018friend\u2019 around, Ruby assumes that it\u2019s someone she knows. But then, Cindy mentions that the \u2018friend\u2019 is named William \u2014 the exact name of Ruby\u2019s father, who died a while ago.<\/p>\n
My family has always been tight-knit \u2014 I\u2019m an only child, so I grew up extremely close to my parents. They were at every field hockey game I played and attended every parent\u2019s meeting at my school. And it didn\u2019t stop when I went to college. They came over every third week, and Mom brought food.<\/p>\n
But when my father passed away, everything changed.<\/p>\n
I have my own family now \u2014 a husband and a six-year-old daughter named Cindy.<\/p>\n
Since my father passed away, my Mom hasn\u2019t been the same. Before, she was a \u201chippie\u201d Mom who wore dungarees and painted almost everything in sight. I loved it. I loved the spirit that came with it.<\/p>\n
But the day we buried my father, something changed. That spirit died down, diminished to a shadow of herself.<\/p>\n
Now, my Mom wants to spend more time with us at home. She especially likes to spend time with Cindy and bond with her. Sometimes, I drop Cindy off at my Mom\u2019s place; sometimes, she picks her up and drops her off after whatever adventure they\u2019ve been on.<\/p>\n
But recently, whenever my Mom drops Cindy off, my daughter cries all the time and avoids her grandmother while Mom catches me up on what they did.<\/p>\n
I love my mother, so I\u2019m not trying to make up any conspiracy theories about what happens when they\u2019re alone. But even I\u2019ll admit, it\u2019s concerning.<\/p>\n
Recently, I decided to talk to Cindy about it all. Our favorite bonding activity is baking. She loves adding the ingredients and mixing the batter, only to lick the leftover batter from a spoon.<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney,\u201d I said, dropping the flour into the bowl for Cindy to mix. \u201cI have a question for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Mama?\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do you cry when grandma is home? What\u2019s wrong? Did something happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s three questions,\u201d Cindy said cheekily.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me, baby,\u201d I said with a slight smile.<\/p>\n
Cindy took a deep breath and sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s because of grandma\u2019s friend. He\u2019s always around.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat friend?\u201d I asked. \u201cShe always does things with you alone. Other than that time she and her friend, Beth, took you to the knitting class.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cindy smiled at the memory.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut if Grandma is always alone, why does she ask me to say hello to William?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWilliam?\u201d I muttered.<\/p>\n
\u201cBefore we eat anything, Grandma always says to offer it to William first. But I don\u2019t ever see him. Who is William?\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned pale, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest.<\/p>\n
William was my father\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs William a scary man?\u201d Cindy asked, mistaking my silence for fear.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t fear, it was confusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Grandma won\u2019t make friends with bad guys,\u201d I said. \u201cCome on, let\u2019s make our cupcakes and eat them!\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, I left Cindy and Dean, my husband, at home \u2014 they had planned an elaborate movie marathon, and I was instructed to make all the snacks before I went.<\/p>\n
Then, I went to my mother\u2019s house. When I arrived, I asked her for a serious conversation and told her everything Cindy and I discussed.<\/p>\n
My mother\u2019s face contorted, her eyes rapidly filling with tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Ruby,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I didn\u2019t think that she would get spooked by it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpooked?\u201d I asked. \u201cSpooked by what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, my love,\u201d Mom said, reaching across the couch to hold my hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI still feel your father,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd I know that it\u2019s not healthy, but I do. And sometimes I still talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart broke for my mother. I had a tough time coming to terms with my father\u2019s death. But I didn\u2019t think that her pain was so deeply rooted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI speak to him constantly, Ru,\u201d Mom continued. \u201cIt started when I was alone, and then it became a coping mechanism. I\u2019ve mentioned it to Cindy a few times. Not to scare her, just as a reminder that Grandpa is around.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, I get it. I understand that this is how you\u2019re coping with Dad\u2019s death. But Cindy doesn\u2019t understand it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
We spent a few hours on the couch just sitting and reminiscing about my father.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome,\u201d Mom said after a while. \u201cI have donuts.\u201d<\/p>\n
Over donuts and coffee, I told Mom that she needed to sit down and explain everything to Cindy.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet her hear it from you,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Mom nodded. She understood that while it was a sweet gesture for her to do \u2014 a coping mechanism of sorts \u2014 it just wasn\u2019t healthy for Cindy to assume that there was an imaginary friend whom she couldn\u2019t see.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d Mom said. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean anything by it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d I said. \u201cI believe you. Do you think that it\u2019s time to see a psychologist?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Ruby,\u201d Mom said. \u201cAre we there yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing wrong with talking to Dad, but it\u2019s the fact that Cindy isn\u2019t sure about spending time with you because of the William thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine,\u201d Mom said. \u201cI\u2019ll do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been a few months now, and Mom has been going to therapy regularly. It has improved her mood, and she has started painting again.<\/p>\n
Now, it\u2019s something that she and Cindy do together.<\/p>\n
My daughter was a lot more understanding than I assumed she would be.<\/p>\n
She loved spending time with her grandmother again. And if Mom ever spoke to my Dad, she never did it in front of us any more.<\/p>\n
We all seemed to be on the path to healing.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s another story for you: One day, you might turn to your loved one, only to find an empty space and regret like Hugo. He was always ashamed of his late Grandma Rosemary, who worked as a street sweeper. He condemned her when he got only an urn of ashes after her death until it shattered on the floor\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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