When my mother-in-law, Melissa, came over to help with my colicky baby while my husband was away, I thought I\u2019d finally get a much-needed break. But what happened during those few hours left me questioning her intentions, my instincts as a mother, and even my marriage.<\/p>\n
I sank into the couch while Emily\u2019s faint cries echoed from the nursery. I didn\u2019t even have the energy to respond right away.<\/p>\n
Three months in, and I still wasn\u2019t sure how people did this. How did they care for a colicky baby, sleep two hours at a time, and still look like they had it all together?<\/p>\n
My hair hadn\u2019t seen a brush in two days, and my shirt was a patchwork of spit-up stains.<\/p>\n
Peter had called earlier.
\n\u201cHow are my girls?\u201d He\u2019d asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re surviving,\u201d I said with a weak laugh, bouncing Emily on my shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019re lucky you\u2019re on the road and not stuck here with this little tyrant.\u201d
\n\u201cThanks, babe,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll let her know. She\u2019s making dinner too, so you\u2019ll have one less thing to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, Melissa showed up promptly at noon, as she always did. She breezed through the door carrying a casserole dish and a tote bag.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Melissa,\u201d I greeted her, shifting Emily in my arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Alicia,\u201d she said, drawing out my name like she was chastising a child. \u201cYou look pale. Are you eating enough? You can\u2019t pour from an empty cup, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m trying,\u201d I forced a smile. \u201cIt\u2019s just been a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa reached out to take Emily from me, her bracelets jingling.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course it has. But that\u2019s motherhood,\u201d she said. \u201cYou should\u2019ve seen Peter as a baby. He cried for hours on end. I never let myself get so worn out, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
I wanted to snap back, but I didn\u2019t have the energy to do that.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I appreciate you being here,\u201d I said instead, handing her Emily.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. That\u2019s what family is for,\u201d she said, bouncing Emily gently. \u201cNow, go lie down. You look like you could fall over any second.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe just ate, so she might fuss a little,\u201d I warned her. \u201cThe baby monitor is in the nursery, and my phone is charging in the bedroom if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you worry about a thing,\u201d she smiled. \u201cI raised three kids. I think I can handle my granddaughter for a couple of hours.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded, even though something about her tone made my stomach twist.<\/p>\n
As I walked to the bedroom, I heard her muttering, \u201cBabies today are so coddled. I never worried so much for my kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
I jolted awake to the sound of Emily\u2019s piercing cry. My heart raced as I scrambled for my phone to check the time, but it wasn\u2019t on the nightstand where I\u2019d left it. The baby monitor\u2019s screen was black, too.<\/p>\n
I immediately threw off the covers and bolted to her room.<\/p>\n
Emily was in her crib, crying because she\u2019d been left unattended.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, baby, I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d I whispered, scooping her up.<\/p>\n
Her cries broke my heart as I tried to soothe her. At that point, I realized Melissa hadn\u2019t even changed Emily\u2019s diaper.<\/p>\n
I immediately grabbed the diaper bag from the corner, fumbling with the wipes and a fresh diaper. As I changed her, I couldn\u2019t stop the questions racing through my mind.<\/p>\n
Why hadn\u2019t Melissa come to check on her? And where was my phone?<\/p>\n
Once Emily was settled, I carried her with me as I searched the house. The kitchen was empty. The living room was, too.<\/p>\n
Then I saw someone move outside the kitchen window. It was her.<\/p>\n
Melissa was standing outside, laughing with the phone pressed to her ear.<\/p>\n
What the heck? I thought.<\/p>\n
I put Emily back in the crib.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be right back, baby,\u201d I smiled and placed her favorite soft toy beside her. I didn\u2019t want her to watch us argue.<\/p>\n
Then, I stormed to the backdoor and threw it open.<\/p>\n
\u201cMelissa!\u201d I shouted.<\/p>\n
She jumped, nearly dropping the phone. \u201cOh, Alicia. You\u2019re awake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy was my daughter crying while you\u2019re out here on the phone?\u201d I demanded. \u201cAnd why do you have my phone?\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa took a deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was talking to Peter,\u201d she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. \u201cHe called your phone, so I answered it. I didn\u2019t want to wake you, so I brought it outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou unplugged the baby monitor too, didn\u2019t you?\u201d I snapped. \u201cThat\u2019s why I didn\u2019t hear her crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa sighed, as if I were the one being unreasonable.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I unplugged it. You needed your rest, and I thought if she cried, it might wake you. But she wasn\u2019t crying when I stepped outside.\u201d<\/p>\n
I knew she wasn\u2019t going to accept her mistake.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long have you been on the phone?\u201d I demanded.<\/p>\n
Melissa glanced at the screen. \u201cThirty-seven minutes,\u201d she said as if it were nothing.<\/p>\n
Thirty-seven minutes. Wow.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou left her alone for thirty-seven minutes? Do you know what you\u2019ve done? She was crying when I picked her up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe wasn\u2019t crying the whole time,\u201d Melissa retorted, her tone defensive now. \u201cAnd crying doesn\u2019t hurt babies. Honestly, Alicia, you\u2019re overreacting. You should be grateful I\u2019m here at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t believe what I was hearing.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrateful? You were supposed to be helping me, Melissa. Instead, you ignored my daughter and took my phone\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Peter wanted to check in on you,\u201d she interrupted. \u201cAnd I was doing you a favor by letting you sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t a favor,\u201d I shot back. \u201cYou stole my phone, unplugged the monitor, and left Emily in there. If I hadn\u2019t woken up, who knows how long you would\u2019ve been on the phone!\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa folded her arms. \u201cYou\u2019re being dramatic, Alicia. Calm down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not,\u201d I said. \u201cYou know what, Melissa? You need to leave. Now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou heard me. Go. I don\u2019t trust you to look after Emily.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t be serious. After everything I\u2019ve done for you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave,\u201d I repeated, cutting her off. \u201cAnd don\u2019t come back unless Peter is home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Melissa muttered something under her breath as she grabbed her purse and stormed out.<\/p>\n
Back inside, I went to Emily\u2019s room and picked her up. She was still playing with the toy.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy\u2019s back, my love,\u201d I said as I held her close.<\/p>\n
Her soft breaths against my chest were the only thing keeping me grounded while my mind replayed the scene over and over.<\/p>\n
Had I overreacted? I thought.<\/p>\n
Melissa was Peter\u2019s mother, after all. She\u2019d raised three kids. But the sounds of Emily\u2019s cries kept ringing in my mind.<\/p>\n
No, I told myself firmly. I did the right thing.<\/p>\n
Still, as I rocked Emily to sleep that night, I couldn\u2019t shake the dread creeping into my chest. What would Peter say when he found out?<\/p>\n
Peter came home the next evening.<\/p>\n
I was in the living room, bouncing Emily on my knee. My stomach clenched when I saw him, knowing we had to talk about what had happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, babe,\u201d he said, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. \u201cHow are my girls?\u201d<\/p>\n
I managed a weak smile. \u201cWe\u2019re okay. Emily\u2019s been a little fussy, but we\u2019re fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took her from my arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, princess,\u201d he said softly. \u201cDaddy\u2019s home.\u201d<\/p>\n
For a moment, I almost let it go. The smile on Peter\u2019s face when Emily gripped his finger almost made me forget how angry I\u2019d been just 24 hours ago.<\/p>\n
Almost.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeter,\u201d I began. \u201cWe need to talk about your mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked up, his brow furrowing. \u201cWhat about her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe came over yesterday to help, but things didn\u2019t go well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d he asked. \u201cShe said she was going to watch Emily and make dinner so you could rest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought, too,\u201d I said. \u201cBut she unplugged the baby monitor, took my phone outside, and left Emily in her crib for over thirty minutes while she talked to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe told me she answered your phone because you were asleep and didn\u2019t want to disturb you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe didn\u2019t just answer it, Peter. She took it outside and left our daughter completely unattended. I woke up to Emily crying while your mom was laughing on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sighed. \u201cShe didn\u2019t mean any harm, Alicia. She was trying to help you get some rest. You\u2019ve been saying for weeks how exhausted you are\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you think this helped?\u201d I interrupted. \u201cShe unplugged the monitor and took my phone. How do you think this helped?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you didn\u2019t have to kick her out!\u201d he argued.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow can you defend her, Peter? After knowing what she did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe came to help us, Alicia,\u201d he said. \u201cShe didn\u2019t have to come over at all, but she did it because she cares about you and Emily. And now, thanks to you, she feels like she\u2019s not welcome here anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you serious? You\u2019re more worried about her feelings than about what she did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just saying you could\u2019ve handled it better,\u201d he said. \u201cShe already feels stupid enough about the whole thing. Don\u2019t be surprised if she never offers to help again.\u201d<\/p>\n
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.<\/p>\n
What was the point? He wasn\u2019t going to see it my way. He never did when it came to Melissa.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine,\u201d I said quietly, turning away from him.<\/p>\n
Peter sighed again and sat down with Emily, gently rocking her in his arms. I watched him for a moment, feeling the distance between us grow.<\/p>\n
That night, as I lay in bed, I couldn\u2019t stop replaying our argument in my head. Maybe I could\u2019ve handled things differently. Maybe I shouldn\u2019t have told Melissa to leave.<\/p>\n
But every time I pictured Melissa laughing on the phone after leaving my daughter inside, my resolve hardened.<\/p>\n
I wasn\u2019t sure if I\u2019d done the right thing or burned a bridge I\u2019d one day regret. All I knew was that my daughter deserved better.<\/p>\n
Was I wrong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When my mother-in-law, Melissa, came over to help with my colicky baby while my husband was away, I thought I\u2019d finally get a much-needed break. But what… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10519,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10518","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t